John Heald's Blog

The Chair

2008-11-21T22:23:23Z

Life was much easier when man lived in caves. We spent the day pulling women around by the hair, hunting, drawing on the walls and crapping in the corner. There were no forced trips to IKEA, no bollockings for leaving underwear on the bathroom floor or being asked “Do you still love me?” every Wednesday. [...]...(read more)

24 hours of blog

2008-11-20T21:38:45Z

Last night I wanted to be back in the United States because you were all being treated to one of the most eagerly awaited television shows in modern history. I’m talking, of course, about 24 - Redemption, the further adventures of Jack Bauer, CTU’s (beep beep eeoooh) shouting whisperer, whose cell phone never runs out [...]...(read more)

I hate jet lag

2008-11-19T23:13:57Z

It has you doing the strangest things at 4 am. I won’t go into detail, but in the wee small hours of this morning, me and the toilet were joined at the bottom. After making my deposit and knowing that sleep would avoid me, I ventured downstairs and turned on the TV. In the US [...]...(read more)

We Are Family

2008-11-18T23:03:57Z

Just once………………just one time………………I would like to be able to sit here and tell you that my flight went well……………that I sat next to a normal person…………….or even that I sat next to nobody and that absolutely nothing happened………………….but whether it’s Murphy and his law or the big boss in heaven………….someone...(read more)

Advantage Miss Navratilova

2008-11-17T23:04:58Z

If American Airlines was the snake in the garden of Eden, Eve would have paid for her own apple………………………..bloody hell……………$2 for a pair of headphones to watch a movie that has been cut so much as not to offend children, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Vegetarians and the French it lasts 20 minutes At least bankers only [...]...(read more)

Bond is Back………….Or is He?

2008-11-16T23:49:36Z

Just before I start venting let me start by saying Good Morning less I forget to do so later…………………”Good Morning.” Well it’s going to be quite a day. I have to pack…………………..or……………as I like to call it “throwing everything into a suitcase and then sitting my buxom bottom on it to make sure it closes.”…………..Heidi would [...]...(read more)

Back to the Future

2008-11-16T01:15:46Z

I have never been much of a fan of parties. Maybe this comes from the fact that I was hardly ever invited to one and when I was…………….no bugger spoke to me. I would arrive at the party with dreams of meeting a girl ……………any girl…………. who would want to have a bit of rumpy [...]...(read more)

Update on the videos

2008-11-14T22:38:47Z

Hi Everyone, We apologize for the difficulty with the streaming video. I know some folks experienced some delays, but we had some connection issues. Please don’t worry if you weren’t able to watch live. All our videos are available for replay. You should be able to replay today’s video now at: http://qik.com/carnivalcruise. Check back later for more videos [...]...(read more)

Watch John Live Onboard the Carnival Splendor

2008-11-14T21:00:29Z

Hi Everyone! Join us as we welcome the newest addition to the Fun Ship fleet, the Carnival Splendor, as it makes its stateside debut in Fort Lauderdale. John will be roaming the ship and interviewing various crew members along the way. Stay tuned for live videos! http://qik.com/carnivalcruise Thanks! Stephanie ShareThis ...(read more)

Tune if for 3:45 pm for live video

2008-11-14T14:49:50Z

Hi Everyone, Stephanie here. Just wanted to let you know that John will not be writing a blog today but at 3:45 pm (EST) there will be live streaming video from John with some of the crew members and some behind the scenes onboard the Carnival Splendor. Thanks! Stephanie ShareThis ...(read more)

Do You Have a Reservation?

2008-11-13T22:32:24Z

I love food………………I really do. Last night I ate at what some would describe as a “fancy restaurant” and I will explain the point to all this in a moment…………………. But first let me tell you what was on the menu. I started with seared duck foie gras with – wait for it, a roast [...]...(read more)

Peter Says Goodbye

2008-11-12T23:53:59Z

Bugger… this Facespace thingy has gotten out of control. Stephanie called me yesterday and told me that I have 1,000 friends and hundreds of requests from people who wanted to be my friend and needed a hug. My friend list is increasingly weird – Julian Fennel, for instance. The last time I saw Mr Fennel [...]...(read more)

Startea

2008-11-11T23:57:42Z

Did you see the news today that Starbucks has issued a 97% downturn on their profits from this time last year? …………..wow……………..I wonder why. Has the credit crunch meant that we are now taking a packet of Maxwell Folgers Coffee to work with us and avoiding the purchase of a skinny macchiato caramel extra shot [...]...(read more)

Blue Monday

2008-11-10T21:03:46Z

So the flight was delayed once again. Apparently it was still a surprise to American Airlines that there were other planes taking off and landing and so we sat on the runway for 40 minutes waiting to take off. It would have been nice to pass that time by talking to the lady next to [...]...(read more)

The Candy Man

2008-11-10T02:37:24Z

It was quite a sight. 8000 pounds of candy pouring from the belly of the Worlds Largest Piñata. There were approximately 300 paid film extras who didn’t need much direction as when the candy fell they rushed forward, arms open wide ready to embrace Mr. M&M and Mrs. Tootsie Roll. On a serious note I should [...]...(read more)