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Looking Through the Porthole by John Heald's Blog

It’s a good job Heidi got pregnant. That’s because this morning I received a letter from the British Adoption service we had registered with a few months ago. Unfortunately, despite the fact that Heidi and I would have loved the child beyond...

The Chair by John Heald's Blog

Life was much easier when man lived in caves. We spent the day pulling women around by the hair, hunting, drawing on the walls and crapping in the corner. There were no forced trips to IKEA, no bollockings for leaving underwear on the bathroom floor or...

I hate jet lag by John Heald's Blog

It has you doing the strangest things at 4 am. I won’t go into detail, but in the wee small hours of this morning, me and the toilet were joined at the bottom. After making my deposit and knowing that sleep would avoid me, I ventured downstairs...

Peter Says Goodbye by John Heald's Blog

Bugger… this Facespace thingy has gotten out of control. Stephanie called me yesterday and told me that I have 1,000 friends and hundreds of requests from people who wanted to be my friend and needed a hug. My friend list is increasingly weird ...

Helloween, Pinata’s and Captain America by John Heald's Blog

With everything that has been happening, I haven’t had time to tell you about the huge success of our “Fun Ship” Halloween parties. The guests took part with great vigor and reports are telling me that some of the costumes were outrageous ………………………...

Witness To A Hat by John Heald's Blog

Morning all…………….let’s start with religion and hats. From: SPLENDOR PURSERS Sent: Wednesday, October 08, 2008 10:57 PM To: SPLENDOR CRUISE DIRECTOR Cc: SPLENDOR GROUPS COORDINATOR; SPLENDOR PURSERS; SPLENDOR CHIEF PURSER;...

A New Fantasy & More Bubba….Sponsored by Ray Ban Sunglasses by John Heald's Blog

Good Morning from Livorno and, after an unexpected day at sea yesterday, the guests seemed very happy to touch land and off they went touring beautiful Tuscany, gorgeous Florence and historic Pisa and its tower. As I said yesterday, even though we missed...

An Accented Blog by John Heald's Blog

And so it begins. Guest: Mr. __________ Ref: 002804925A Cabin: _______ Booking#: ________ Added-Changed: 09/23/08 - 09/24/08 CLOSET TOO SMALL Mr. ________ was cutting the line and shouting in Russian. Purser asked guest to stop shouting and then went...

Feeling Old…………….And an Interview with Carl with a K by John Heald's Blog

If I were to see someone indulging in antisocial behavior, such as talking loudly in a library or urinating in a someone’s front yard, I would roll my eyes and quietly sigh. If it were something more serious, such as putting super glue on cans of prunes...
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